When you feel scattered and disconnected
There are times when we feel like we are just not completely here. We feel scattered and disconnected from the world that is happening around us and the one we are experiencing inside. As if you are watching your life happen without your participation.
These are the times when you walk into a room with a purpose and can’t for the life of you figure out what it was. Or when you have something to say but the words just wont come out. You could be in the same room with a group of people “involved” in a conversation, but you feel as if you are a million miles away. Those days that getting out of pajamas feels like you conquered the world! Responsibilities, goals, and agendas are something you just cant wrap your head around when you are in this space.
If you have ever felt this way read on to see what is really happening. It is actually a perfectly orchestrated process.
My personal background with this process
Even as I write this I find myself in this space. I have been experiencing a large feeling of distance between myself and the world around me more intensely lately. I feel the distance between the two worlds in myself. I can feel I am residing more in my expanded self. The one that is watching the bigger picture requiring my, grounded earth self, to trust the process and know that the universe has my back.
I know this cycle very well, and it does always cycle around. It is a clearing process and one that is perfectly supported and supporting us in every way.
What I have learned it isn’t
When I first started experiencing this process about 9 years ago, I truly just thought it was depression taking up residence in my life again. I have been in the dark places depression takes you, and now with hindsight, I can see that it was all part of me shedding old fears and beliefs and emerging with more of my true essence in tact. (If you are experiencing depression, know that you are not alone and you will emerge again. There are many, many people willing to talk and share with you. Please reach out to someone.)
This process is different. This is more like a tune up, a chance to stop for a moment and allow your soul to breathe and decide what it wants to continue with and what it wants to leave behind.
Honoring the process
In this space it is more challenging to accomplish everyday regular tasks. You become very disconnected and not so concerned with the outcome of anything.
This is a very odd place to be if you are a go getter, do what you have to do against all odds kind of person.
When I first started experiencing this cycle I battled against it with everything I had. I couldn’t tell anyone “No” even if all I wanted to do was take a nap. I would never honor that feeling because “things had to get done” right?!! The world doesn’t stop for me just because I need a rest. I over committed because “I was helpful”.
I wanted to be involved in everything. I wanted to be seen by others as talented, helpful, nice, “on top of it”.
This process is about so much more than how you want others to see you and think of you. This is a process that eventually you learn to flow with instead of fight against. You honor yourself and the process your body needs to take, and at a certain point you wont even be able to remember what it felt like to ignore your needs.
The Universe is your friend
The universe is a lovely friend who supports you no matter what. It’s the friend that is super patient and knows that you will see what you need to see in the time that you need to see it.
When I would fight the overwhelming, very foreign feelings to just slow down. To tell others “no” and honor what I was feeling things would find a way to fall apart on their own. I would either get really sick, get lost, something would break down, or I would get hurt forcing me to just stop already!!
Now that I am aware of what is happening I do my best to honor it and trust the process.
Many times it happens when I am feeling urgent about something. Fighting against it actually slows the process even more and leaves you feeling more exhausted.
If you are feeling DONE always functioning on overdrive…….relax into it and trust that the universe is going to smooth that road for you. Just be willing to let go. Honor that disconnected, scattered feeling. Know that it isn’t a weakness and it is actually clearing the way for more solid service, where you give and do based on YOUR joy.
No comparisons allowed….easier said than done
I have had to learn to not compare myself with others who are not going through these same cycles.
I admit when I am around people who don’t function from the same frequency (no one is better or worse or ahead or behind) I feel a bit nostalgic for the way I used to function. The go getter, do it all mentality is a thrill at times and I love when I am in that space. I also know it does me no good to try to fit in when that just isn’t where I am at.
Something we begin to understand and own is that there is nothing wrong with what we are feeling or going through, there is nothing we need to fix or jump into to make it stop. We just begin to honor it and know that it will cycle through.
It can be difficult to feel separate or alone knowing that the majority of people who you are around are not feeling this or are not aware that this is even a thing.
This is why I am sharing my experience now. I want to create a space for all those who are feeling this and resonate with these experiences. I want to give peace, comfort and a feeling of refuge when you may be feeling alone. If you are reading this and any part of you is relaxing and feeling peace come over you, know that you are meant to be here and you are not on this journey alone.
During these cycles we are processing a major amount of energy, clearing out old energy and allowing more light to come in. It is “invisible” but very real and our bodies need us to honor all of it.
It is not an easy thing to feel this way, but no matter what believe that all is in divine and perfect order.0